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3 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Spouse in a High-Conflict Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

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While every divorce is bound to involve some conflict, some divorce cases are much more contentious than others. Toxic spouses may engage in behaviors that intentionally upset the other spouse, undermine progress during the divorce, and make the process of ending their marriage more difficult than it needs to be. If you suspect that your divorce will be wrought with conflict, you should know that there are steps you can take to protect your rights and avoid falling into common high-conflict divorce pitfalls.

Do Not Stoop to Your Spouse’s Level

A toxic spouse may spread lies about you, threaten to ruin you financially or even attempt to keep your children away from you. Anyone would be infuriated by this type of conduct. Unfortunately, the most important thing you can do in a high-conflict divorce is also the hardest to actually accomplish. You must avoid responding to your spouse’s manipulative and offensive behavior by counterattacking him or her. Ignore your spouse’s calls, texts, and social media posts. If needed, request an emergency order of protection to stop your spouse from harassing you.

Document Everything

Your spouse’s toxic behavior may have a silver lining. The more your spouse acts out, the more evidence you have of that behavior. Keep copies of emails, social media posts, text messages, voicemails, and other forms of communication. If your spouse says or does something threatening or inflammatory or violates any temporary orders entered by the court, write down the date, time, and a description of what happened. Keep in mind that your spouse’s lawyer is likely giving him or her the same advice. This is another reason that it is important to avoid responding to your spouse’s attempts to provoke you.

Obtain Legal Support and Emotional Support from Professionals

If you are going through a high-conflict divorce, it is important to seek legal counsel from a divorce attorney who knows how to handle these types of cases. Your lawyer will protect your rights, offer important legal advice, and advocate on behalf of you and your children. High-conflict divorce can understandably have a tremendous impact on a person’s emotional and psychological health. In addition to quality legal counsel, it may also be a good idea to work with a divorce coach or therapist.

Contact an Oak Brook High-Conflict Divorce Lawyer

At Botti Marinaccio, LTD., our skilled Cook County divorce attorneys know the unique issues involved in high-conflict divorce cases. We can help with contentious disputes regarding property and debt division, hidden assets, child custody, spousal maintenance, and much more. Call our office today at 630-575-8585 to schedule a confidential consultation.





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Botti Marinaccio, LTD.


2015 Spring Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523

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