Couples - especially those who have been married for many years - rarely have a relationship that is all good or bad. Because of the inherent complexity of marriage, it can be very difficult to weigh the pros against the cons and make the decision to cut ties with your spouse. While the decision to get divorced is ultimately up to the spouse or spouses in question, and while many relationships are full of nuance and uncertainty, there are certain behaviors that experts say nearly always indicate divorce is in the future. If you read this list and believe any of these signs apply to you, consider meeting privately with an Illinois divorce attorney.

Physical Abuse

This can be one of the easiest behaviors to walk away from, yet also one of the hardest. People who physically abuse their spouse often feel extreme guilt and sorrow for their behavior, and try to make up for the abuse by being exceptionally loving, caring, and charming after abusive incidents. Nevertheless, abusers rarely change their behavior in the long run, and staying with a physically abusive partner could seriously endanger you and your children.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be much harder to identify, especially if your spouse is highly intelligent and manipulative. You may feel for many years as though any abuse you suffer is your fault and that you even deserve it. Yet emotional abuse can make for a miserable marriage devoid of intimacy and caring; if your partner is emotionally abusive, it may be time for divorce.

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People are rarely on their best behavior during divorce, but for some spouses, the misbehavior escalates in extreme ways. This can involve trying to hide assets, making false accusations of spousal abuse, or even making false accusations of child abuse. If you are getting divorced and anticipate that your spouse will engage in hostile, high-conflict behaviors, start preparing now by working with an Illinois divorce attorney who has experience with difficult divorces.

Can My Spouse Make False Accusations of Abuse?

Technically, anyone can make accusations of abuse - but your spouse will have to back up their claims in court if they want a judge to use those claims to affect the outcome of your case. For example, if your spouse claims that you physically abuse your child, he or she will have to present evidence such as photographs, witness testimony, or a psychologist's assessment of your child.

Unfortunately, false accusations of abuse are common in divorce as spouses seek to influence the outcome of custody proceedings. However, if you can demonstrate that your spouse is making false accusations, this will reflect very poorly on them. Judges generally want to see children spend as much time with both parents as possible, and undue efforts to take parenting time away from you could backfire and result in your spouse being seen as manipulative and disinterested in the best interests of the children.

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Divorce is notoriously expensive and the financial repercussions of divorce often extend long into the future. Understandably, then, one of the most common questions people have for divorce attorneys is “How much will my divorce cost?” While statistics can provide averages ($15,000 - $20,000) and medians ($7,000), the exact cost of divorce is impossible to predict ahead of time, even if a divorcing spouse could know in advance every obstacle they will encounter. Instead, what can be more helpful is to have a basic understanding of what you will likely need to pay for during divorce. Read on for an overview of common divorce expenses and then contact an Illinois divorce attorney who is committed to helping you get divorced in the most effective way.

Divorce Fees

As with all governmental functions, merely filing for divorce has fees associated with it. Divorce in Illinois generally costs about $350 to file and to respond to, although each subsequent court transaction may have additional fees associated with it (such as paying to have divorce papers served). You may also be required to pay for court-ordered parenting classes, court-ordered mediation, and court-ordered interim alimony.

Managing Two Households

If you are the spouse or parent paying interim alimony and child support, you face the additional financial burden of supporting your own residence in addition to the home your spouse and children still live in. If you move out during divorce, this could mean paying a mortgage plus rent, food bills for two households, and everyone’s utilities.

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When a couple gets engaged, an expensive ring is often the gift that seals the deal. For some couples, an engagement ring may be their most valuable asset for many years and questions about ownership in a divorce could become heated, especially if the marriage did not last long. For others, questions about ownership of a potential engagement ring come up before a ring is even purchased; after all, if the partner buying the ring plans to spend a significant amount of money, he or she may want some assurance that the value of the ring will be protected if the relationship fails. If you are married, engaged, or need more information about engagement ring ownership, read on and then contact an experienced Illinois family law attorney.

Who Owns an Engagement Ring?

Although an engagement ring may seem like the private business of the two people involved in the relationship, Illinois law does apply to engagement rings. If one partner gives the other an engagement ring, it is considered a gift conditional upon a marriage taking place. If the ring’s recipient ends the relationship before the wedding, he or she must give it back. Likewise, if both parties agree to end the relationship, the ring needs to be returned to the giver. If the ring’s giver ends the relationship, the recipient may be able to keep it. If you are in this situation, and your ex plans to keep the ring, talk to an attorney right away.

Once a marriage begins, the ring is considered a gift and is not part of a couple’s marital estate. Many couples decide to upgrade their rings after several years of marriage, and even these upgrades are likely not part of the marital estate, because they are likely to be seen as gifts from one spouse to the other. When a couple divorces, each partner keeps their own ring.

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Few things are as difficult in divorce as deciding your living arrangements once the divorce is finalized, and maybe even before then. Some spouses are eager to get out of the home they shared with each other, while others have built many years of sentimental memories and want to keep the family home if possible. While there is no right answer to the question of whether you should keep your family home in your divorce, there are some things you should consider carefully before coming to a decision. With the help of an experienced Illinois divorce attorney, you can examine different scenarios and determine what is right for you.

Asset Division in Illinois

Illinois law requires couples to divide their assets fairly, but not necessarily equally. To that end, judges allow couples leeway to create their own asset division agreement and, as long as it is fair, it will likely be approved. While some spouses elect to simply sell their home and divide the proceeds, others prefer to look for strategies that could allow one spouse to keep the home.

As you consider what you ultimately want to do, here are some things to consider:

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