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How Can I Help My Children Get Through a Separation or Divorce?

Posted on in Divorce

IL divorce lawyerDivorce is much more common than it was in previous decades. Nevertheless, divorce can still have a profound impact on children. If you are a parent and your marriage is nearing its end, you may understandably be worried about how the separation will affect your children. You may wonder if there is anything you can do to help your kids cope with this stressful life event. Fortunately, there are many resources for parents in this situation. A good deal of research has been conducted about how children process the divorce and what parents can do to lessen kids’ emotional turmoil.

Telling Your Children About the Split

Experts agree that it is best to plan for the “divorce talk” ahead of time. Do not tell your children about the separation or divorce until you are sure of it. Sit your children down together with your spouse if possible. Calmly explain that mom and dad will not be living together. You may need to assure your children that the separation is not their fault and that they are still loved and cared about. Children have various reactions to the news of divorce. Some need space to cool off, while others need immediate hugs and reassurance.

Avoid Letting Children Hear Arguments with Your Spouse

The process of ending your marriage may be contentious and legally complex. One of the best things you can do during this difficult time in your children’s lives is shielding them from adult conversations regarding divorce. If you and your spouse need to have a difficult discussion about dividing property or spousal maintenance, try to discuss the earshot of your children. Studies show that children are deeply affected by parental arguments and fights.

Maintain Consistency Wherever Possible

Although most children will claim to despise bedtimes and rules, children thrive on consistency and predictability. During a separation or divorce, children’s lives are in upheaval. The greater number of routines and schedules you can keep consistent, the better. You may be tempted to spoil your children by letting them skip chores or eat candy for dinner. However, studies show that this can do more harm than good for children.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

At Botti Marinaccio, LTD, we understand that divorce involving children can involve many unique concerns. Our team of skilled Western Springs divorce attorneys can provide guidance and representation during divorce, child custody disputes, child support concerns, and much more. Call our office today at 630-575-8585 for a confidential case review and consultation.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3804638/

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html

 

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Botti Marinaccio, LTD.

630-575-8585

2015 Spring Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523

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