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Reaching a Compromise in Collaborative Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County divorce lawyerYou and your spouse are not getting divorced because you are getting along great and can easily compromise. When you and your spouse have irreconcilable differences, it can be hard to come to an agreement and file an uncontested divorce. One or both of you may have some desire to litigate your divorce to have your day in court. However, divorce litigation can be very expensive and it can drag your case out by months or even more than a year. This is why more and more couples are using alternative dispute resolution in order to reach a compromise on the terms of their divorces.

It can be challenging to make an agreement with the person you are divorcing, but trying anyway could prove rewarding and beneficial. An attorney can help guide you through mediation or facilitated negotiation. 

Tips for Using Alternative Dispute Resolution

In some types of alternative dispute resolution, you and your spouse will never see each other or have direct contact. In others, you and your spouse will come face to face. Regardless of the particular system of mediation you use, reaching a fair agreement can be tricky. Some tips for making it work include: 

  • Do not rehash the past - Whether your spouse called you a nasty name that one time has no bearing on who gets to keep the couch. Rehashing the past and talking about the reasons you are getting divorced is not going to do anything except derail the discussion and breed further resentment.
  • Avoid outside negotiations - All discussion of your divorce terms should take place in front of your attorneys and the mediator. Resist the urge to try negotiating directly with your spouse.  
  • Be rational - Making unreasonable demands - like demanding spousal support when you were only married a few months - is generally unproductive. Your spouse and their lawyers will not agree. Likewise, understand that your spouse will keep some things and be willing to make a few sacrifices as a compromise. 
  • Participate - 90% of success is showing up. Be there on time for every session. Even if you are angry at your spouse, remain civil during any meetings. Be a part of the discussion. Do not be a bystander in your divorce. Active participation is very important. 

An attorney can also help guide you and offer strategies likely to produce results. Remember that your only alternative to making an agreement is litigating your divorce. 

Call a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

Botti Marinaccio, LTD. is skilled at helping spouses who are getting divorced reach an agreement. Our Hinsdale divorce lawyers will fight for you to receive a fair divorce decree through alternative dispute resolution. Contact us at 630-575-8585 for a confidential consultation. 




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Botti Marinaccio, LTD.


2015 Spring Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523

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