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Top Tips for Reducing Children’s Stress During a High-Conflict Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Burr Ridge high-conflict divorce attorney

Marriages end for countless reasons. Some spouses simply grow apart while others experience a major breach in trust that brings the relationship to a screeching halt. If an issue such as infidelity has led to the breakdown of your marriage, there may be a great deal of tension and resentment between you and your spouse. If you are a parent, you are probably worried about how this tension will affect your children. Fortunately, there is considerable research about the effects of high-conflict divorce on children and the steps that parents can take to reduce their children’s stress during this tumultuous experience.

Avoid Arguing With Your Spouse or Discussing Legal Matters in Front of Your Kids  

Numerous studies have demonstrated the harmful effects of parental conflict on children. Although many parents in miserable marriages stay married for their children’s sake, research shows that many children feel less anxiety and depression once their parents separate compared to what they did when the parents were living together. Being exposed to arguments and tension between parents can increase a child’s chances of developing mental health problems and behavioral issues. One of the best ways to help reduce your children’s stress during divorce is to avoid talking about divorce-related issues such as child support or spousal maintenance in front of the children as much as possible.

Never Use Your Children as Pawns During Divorce

Some parents use their children as weapons during divorce and do not even realize that they are doing it. Experts say that parents should never ask their children to be messengers or spies during their divorce. When a parent asks a child to deliver a message to the other parent, the child has to deal with the other parent’s reaction. This can be very emotionally taxing on the child. Furthermore, do not ask children to spy on the other parent and report information back to you.

Do Not Turn Your Child Against the Other Parent  

Trash-talking the other parent in front of your children or oversharing about the other parent’s failures as a spouse can be detrimental to your children’s emotional well-being. Furthermore, it could reduce the amount of parental responsibilities or parenting time assigned to you by the court. When determining a custody arrangement that is in the children’s best interests, one of the factors that courts consider is “the willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship” between the child and the other parent. If the court determines that your actions have damaged your children’s relationship with the other parent, you may be less likely to receive a favorable judgment.

Contact a Hinsdale Divorce Lawyer

At Botti Marinaccio, LTD., we understand the unique issues presented in a high-conflict divorce case. We are fully prepared to assist you with matters related to property and asset division, child custody, child support, spousal maintenance, and much more. Call us today at 630-575-8585 to schedule a private consultation with our qualified and dedicated Cook County family law attorneys.



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Botti Marinaccio, LTD.


2015 Spring Road, Oak Brook, IL 60523

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